Where I speak "your" dirty lil' mind!

Archive for the ‘Rights’ Category

How’s this…

In Bullshit, Gay, Humour, Rights, Sex, Wordplay on August 28, 2010 at 4:47 pm

as a cool name for a gay boxer?



Things I Found Under My Bed:

In Animal Rights, Bullshit, Delhi, I, India, Life, Men, My Doggies, Rights, You on September 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm
  • 6 pairs of (chewed up) slippers/slip-ons that I’d given up for “Lost”
  • Enough dog hair to fill 3 king-size mattresses
  • No “monsters”…

but still…

Remind me again;

why I keep picking these pups off the streets and bringing them home ??!?

“Yes, I CAN Sound Like a LOT of Other People…

In Bullshit, Ego, English, Human Rights, Humour, I, India, Life, Men, Rights, Sex, Sexes, Things that Piss Me Off !, Women, Wordplay, You on August 29, 2009 at 12:03 pm

but does that make me a schizo/psycho/sociopath,

… or just another comedian?”

The EVIL that is… Vegetarianism !!!

In Bullshit, Ego, Human Rights, Humour, I, India, Life, Men, Rights, Things that Piss Me Off !, Women, You on August 14, 2009 at 2:22 am

Ok, let me sort through my audience right here and say DO NOT BOTHER READING THIS if you are:

  • An absolutely “carnivore-tolerant”-vegetarian-by-choice…
  • A person lacking a sense of humour (tolerance/understanding/intelligence.. whatever)

…if not


Read More…


In Bullshit, Ego, Humour, I, Life, Marijuana, Men, Music, Rights, Sex, Sexes, Things that Piss Me Off !, Uncategorized, Wordplay, You on August 11, 2009 at 4:45 am

is always a better tool for honestly communicating a message, than any witty insult…

Chivalry is…

In Bullshit, Delhi, Ego, Ganja, Gay, Human Rights, Humour, I, India, Life, Marijuana, Medicine, Men, Music, New Delhi, Rights, Sex, Sexes, Things that Piss Me Off !, Uncategorized, Women, Wordplay, You on July 31, 2009 at 3:44 pm

…knowing when to shut up and give a Woman the last word.

You’re ALL “Drug Addicts” !!

In Ganja, Human Rights, Humour, India, Life, Marijuana, Medicine, Rights, Things that Piss Me Off ! on July 21, 2009 at 8:08 am

Don’t think so?

Read on.

Let’s get this straight. What are drugs?

(“Drregzzz”… to you holier-than-thou types)

THIS, is how Wikipedia defines “Drugs”.

Alcohol and tobacco, by that definition, are socially-accepted and government-sanctioned drugs. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

How about pharmacology then?

Most of us mark a distinction between medicine, say a tablet of Disprin (or Aspirin) and a joint (spliff, doobie, pot..marijuana).

The one noticeable difference is that a doctor prescribes one and a “smoker”, the other.

But based on the assumption that a “drug” is anything that causes a noticeable change in physiological (body-related) and psychological (mind-related) functions, they’re no different.

An innocuous tablet of something that was initially derived from the bark of the willow tree (and is now, probably completely synthesized in a lab), i.e., Aspirin, seems more socially acceptable than “weed”, right?

Healthier too, since it doesn’t fuck up your lungs, or get you “high.”

Not really.

If you consider the fact that you’re probably reading this in one of the metros in India, then it has been proven that the air you’re breathing is worse for you than a couple of cigarettes a day (at least!). Cigarettes, btw, are allowed by the government to contain as many as 2000 (!) chemical additives to the tobacco. Most of them added to provide a “smoother” taste, (read: less likely to make you cough).

What the hell does that have to do with Disprin, or pot?

Well, the Disprin you took, was in all probability for a headache. You don’t think that the bus which you passed on the road or that industrial area you drive past everyday, might have contributed to your headache in the first place?

Sure, the Disprin might have relieved your headache, but consider this:

Cannabis smoke is an expectorant!
(Cough,cough, cough…Hack!!   …sound familiar?)

An Expectorant (from the Latin expectorare, to expel from the chest) is a medication that “helps bring up mucus and other material from the lungs, bronchi, and trachea.” (again, Wikipedia)

Therefore, it dissolves the hardened mucus (phlegm, ‘Bulgum’ or “Flagum!”) which absorbs most of the air-borne particles of smoke/contaminants, etc., and EXPELS it from the body… before it’s even had a chance to reach your blood-stream, and cause that headache!!

..and if you are “high”, then you probably aren’t complaining about a headache in the first place… 🙂

“Prevention is better than the cure…” or something like that, right?

Coming back to the “You’re all drug addicts” point; if we accept that drugs are anything that cause a change in both mind and body function, then how do we differentiate between substances that are common “food”, and “recreational drugs”?

Both tea and coffee are consumed by the majority of the worlds’ population, and don’t try and tell me that it’s for sustenance because they have pretty much NO nutritional value to the human body.

So the primary difference they make, is to the brain and our levels of perception, right?

DRREGgzzzzz !!!

“But I don’t have either tea or coffee!” (Snoot!)

Maybe, but you do have…


Either directly, or through commercially-available, processed “food”.

Sugar is the world’s most popular “Drug”!!

In that it’s a highly-(physiologically and psychologically) active substance, and IS NOT REQUIRED by the human body externally. (Your body converts carbohydrates into all the sugar it actually requires from a meal)

Sugar abuse is also the least discussed and most widespread addiction on the planet!
Insidious too, since sugar addiction most often hides behind a variety of other substance “addictions” (such as tea, coffee, chocolate and even “just a glass of milk”).

It’s also very harmful…
Need more proof than your own cellulite, love-handles or the case of diabetes somewhere in your family?

Ok then, here you go.
Sugar has been medically-proven to be responsible for and contributing to:

  • Diabetes
  • Tooth decay
  • Gout, and
  • Obesity

besides fatigue, memory loss, lack of mental focus, risk of heart disaese and strokes! (Don’t take my word for it, ask your doctor)

It might even be responsible for many more, including cancer –  if you consider that it’s the first thing to be taken off most medical patients’ diets – but that admittedly, is my own conjecture.

As for the ethicality of the whole thing, sugar has a way more dastardly past in human history than even opium, cocaine or marijuana.

Do I really need to draw the line between the global growth in popularity of sugar, sugar plantations, and Slavery?

So… still think you’re a better, smarter human being than those “Dreggadixxx…”?


P.S.: If you are one of those people who don’t; smoke, nor drink alcohol, tea or coffee; nor consume any sugar either, then I admire you and would like to take this opportunity to apologise.

“Very Sorry”

Now f*@# off (!) you teetotalling, anal-retentive tight ass

The Evil that is… Advertising

In Human Rights, Humour, India, Rights, Things that Piss Me Off ! on July 20, 2009 at 12:07 am

NOTE: Being new to the blogosphere, I was recently advised to keep my posts short and sweet.

“That’s why a site like Twitter* works so well,” they said.

While neither “short” nor “sweet”, describe me very well, I do occassionally post shorter, less time-consuming pieces like this Note you’re reading currently, and then THIS ONE here.

However, in case you are NOT someone possessed by the attention span of a gnat, then I suggest going through some of the lengthier posts; such as the following, too.

* My own opinion of those who like to call themselves the” Twitteratti”; is that they should consider what it is that makes a “fing”, into a “finger”.

And then re-think that which they so claim to “luv”


I’m considering moving the only TV in the house, from the living room, where I spend most of my time, to Mum’s room. I find myself switching it on so infrequently nowadays, that it just makes more sense for Mum to have it in her room for all her oldies and soaps (which I detest).

I’d like to be able to say this is also because of some “good son”-related benevolence on my part, but the truth is that I just don’t even WANT it around any more.

For the news; I get the newspaper every morning, a couple of weekly publications (Tehelka being one), and then, the fastest source of any important news in the world; this all-encompassing digital consciousness we call the internet, which also provides for all my entertainment needs (music, movies, sitcoms, porn etc. ) as well.

The main reason behind my desire to evict the boob-tube from my immediate environment is the fact that nowadays, there are just too many ads in my face All-the-F*@#*ing-Time !!

I used be the kind of annoying/irritating person (I still am in most other respects) whom people call a “channel-surfer”. This is not intended as a confession or an apology in any way(!) but rather, an explanation. So, read on…

The reason I used to switch between channels so incessantly was because I hated the ads which dominate most channels. They disrupt what is supposedly MY entertainment time, and 99% of the time, hawk products I-Don’t-Need.

Now, some people (especially ad agencies) will tell you that we need advertising, and that it’s there for the benefit of the consumers!

Case-in-point: there was an ad campaign some years ago on Indian TV which stated:

“Advertising. YOUR right to Choose!”
(Advertisers advertising advertisements?!? Wtf)


Couldn’t I just ask the shopkeeper if he had any options for me if for some reason I wasn’t completely satisfied with my soap, detergent, bread or butter?

In fact, increasingly, with the glut of convenience stores and supermarkets everywhere, I don’t even need the shopkeeper for that. I can just pick and choose from a number of options for any given product myself!

So isn’t advertising actually limiting my options by trying to present just one particular product, when in fact there are hundreds available?

What the ad i referenced above was really saying:

“Advertising… OUR right to Exist!
…and make a (very comfortable) living providing you with a non-essential service, therby justifying our existence.”

I know I’m not going to be making any friends with what I’m saying – I don’t really give a fuck about making any new friends, the ones I have are good enough – but I do hope I don’t lose any (friends i.e., or even potential employers ;D ) either.

You see, I do have a few close friends who are extremely successful copywriters, working in ad agencies. I’ve also come across at least a hundred more in 13 years or so of my so-called “career”, and here’s what I’ve learnt about the more successful ones:

A good ad-copywriter:

• Is a good writer (duh!!), but more importantly..
• Is an extremely confident person
• Is always oddly attractive, even if “aesthetically-challenged”
• Has the twinkle of mischief in their eyes.
• Makes a lot of money (compared to other writers)
• Has an innate understanding of human behaviour.

It’s a shame these people don’t use their powers for Good… hunh?

My main problem with most ads is; that they are intended specifically towards deflecting my own attention away from wherever it is – which is generally more interesting than that bottle which kills the cartoon germs, the cute puppy or even the ST with flapping wings which they tout – and into their own warped, consumer-targeted mindspace.

Here’s an interesting hypothesis; if the ads were all true, and those sanitary pads really are “30/50/100%… More Absorbent” …

Considering that the commercial ST became popular around the 1920’s and that there are hundreds of manufacturers in the current market scenario; where every manufacturer proclaim theirs to be supposedly “better”, and claims some sort of numerically-established “improvements”

Well then, shouldn’t we by now, more than 80 years after it hit the market, be able to fling one of those things into a swimming pool and instantly drain it?

No, I’m not just trying to be funny here… do the math yourself. If every new ST that was introduced really was “better” and exponentially more absorbent than the others before it… and keeping in mind that these improvements have been going on almost a hundred years now, right?

How long before one of these manufacturers gets it right and invents one that is absorbent enough to get the job done?
Man has landed on the moon; discovered new planets, stars and constellations; and explored the depths of the deepest oceans on Earth in the same amount of time!

Because it’s all a fraud, that’s why.

The only way an advertiser or manufacturer can claim their product to be “Better” or “More”, is when it’s “more than” or “better”, than it itself used to be. Not the competition.

So what are they (all ads) – and I’m not just talking about the one’s promoting feminine-hygiene products – really saying here?

Let’s explore 2 commonly made assertions by some ads:

“We’re giving you MORE for FREE!”
(…than we used to)

No it’s not FREE, we’re still paying you good money! You’re just finally admitting that you were giving us less than you could have, all along. Ergo, you’ve been ripping us off all these years.

You bastards!

Or this one…

“Now 30/50/100% …BETTER!”
(…than we used to be)

Which really then, is not saying much at all…
If you think about it, it’s like the child who comes home all excited with a marginal improvement in his or her report card.

Really? We should treat a million-dollar conglomerate (and the hundreds if not thousands of adults involved) with the same exuberance one might show to a child?

…and in that, I guess, lays the crux of my anger toward most ads and some of the ad-makers as well, the fact that;

Advertising intrinsically tries to use subtle psychology in it’s ploys most of the time, fails miserably and insults my own intelligence…

Through utter bullshit! It automatically assumes that I (or my behaviour), can be predicted and influenced by cheap images and words which have no substance behind them.

But then I guess it does work. And there are numbers to prove it too. People do go out and buy things which they see advertised, and therefore, the stuff which is advertised, sells more.

So yes, it works, and I even know some people who say that they actually enjoy watching commercials…

For me, that’s just more sad proof that most people still swim (with those ridiculous inflatable baby floaters around their arms!), in the shallow end of the gene pool.


Interestingly, I have myself been advised by a number of people at times, to consider getting into the field    😀

What if a ‘client’ came to me, looking to peddle some sick pigs?

Todays’ Special :

Swine Vindaflu !!

… anyone?

Am I Gay?

In Delhi, Gay, Human Rights, Humour, India, Life, Men, New Delhi, Rights, Sex, Uncategorized, Women on July 16, 2009 at 2:32 am

Am I Gay?
Why… I always thought I was a straight man, but
Yes! I guess…
I’m a sexual Homo (Sapien),
“A lesbian trapped in a Man’s body”,
In fact, here’s the God-honest truth,
I’m a full-blown transexual,
A she-male, if you will,
Do ya Wanna’ see my thingy?
Why… hmm,
I always thought I was straight, but
I guess…
I’m a sexual Homo (sapien),
a “lesbian trapped in a man’s body”.
In fact, here’s the God-honest truth,
I’m a full-blown transexual!
a tranny, “she-male” if you will.
D’ya wanna’ see my thingy?

Gay = Stoner ??

In Gay, Human Rights, I, Just the Music Please..., Marijuana, Music, Rights on July 13, 2009 at 11:19 pm

Should marijuana (Cannabis) be legalised on the basis of the Indian government finally recognising the right of an individual to choose their own lifestyle? I don’t think so. Or at least, that’s not why.  However, if you’re broad-minded enough to follow your own curiosity, and are either a parent/ a patient of clinical disease/ or just a person who CARES ABOUT INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS, do read on.

There is a new community up on Facebook aiming towards the legalisation of Marijuana/ganja/charas/hash/bhang/hemp in India.

Barely a month old, this Facebook group had upwards of 700 members as of when I posted this first blog, (or is it blogged this first post? whatever, I’m new to this)

I must admit, my first reaction was; “Fuck! Now a bunch of stoners are riding on the wave of the Gay/Bi community’s hard-earned victory over an antiquated British law that literally said: you just are NOT

Now, please don’t presume that the missing ‘dot’, or “full-stop” at the end of the last paragraph was a typo. It was not, it was deliberate because I think that best explains just how tyrannical “377” was. Try to imagine your parents, siblings, friends and co-workers ALL making you feel like you were unworthy, of love, pride, status and respect. As if you were,




…and to top it all off, have even the government get involved in your persecution and officially label you a “Criminal” ??

While I can’t claim to be either gay or bisexual, I have and do (more regularly than frequently) smoke pot,  and I do know that feeling the way “Article 377”  made anyone from the GLBT (LGBT/BTGL/GBLT/TLBG… whatever, TMKC!) community feel, would make me feel like Shit! And that is why I am truly happy that India has decriminalised and accepted even “homosexual” love, as love. Pure and simple. And I guess that is what makes me intrinsically happy about the whole thing, as a human being.

Which is why hearing about a bunch of kids from the ” Yuppy, internet/Tv-reared Generation” on Facebook wanting to ride this wave of reform to decriminalise Drugs pissed me off!

The Gay community, the NAZ Foundation and countless others, had fought an 8-year battle, against a 150-year old colonially-enforced law, to gain their victory. Now a bunch of Potheads with chillums and joints were going to march down Janpath, smoking charas and ganja hand-in-hand with a bunch of Sadhus claiming the right to smoke..  WTF??

But (excuse my grammar, Hitler), that’s when the similarity struck me –  they too. just wanted to just Be.

“Should pot-smokers be decriminalised?”

A glance though their page on Facebook only served to reinforce my initial disappointment. The childish quibbling amongst the members and even the administrators (who seemed unable to decide even on what to call it !?) The name of the group changed from “Legalise Marijuana in India”, to” Legalise Ganja in India”, then back to “Legalise Marijuana in India”, “Legalise Cannabis (Marijuana) in India”, until finally. all three administrators of the account reached on a conclusion to call it “Legalise Cannabis (aka Marijuana) in India”.

Until I came across a post (actually, a comment on the main discussion thread) by one of the creators, which claimed that:

  • Marijuana had Medicinal Value.
  • Marijuana had Traditional Use in India (which could be invoked on the government’s ‘sly’ permission of legal sale and consumption of Cannabis around Holi).
  • Marijuana was SAFER than alcohol and tobacco!

Now this last point is what got me thinking.  Do they really believe that ganja/charas/marijuana/bhang/weed or “dope* (which I learned was a term used by all illegal drug users, be it marijuana, heroin, opium, crack, and even cocaine or alcohol users. At one point-of-time or another, even amongst alcoholics!) was a BETTER solution?

Interestingly though, while “dope” is a generic term usually used for drugs that require rehab, yet despite centuries of use, there doesn’t seem to be a requirement for even one Cannabis-related rehabilitation centre in the entire world!

Wikisearching the medicinal aspects of Marijuana seems at least initially,  to be positively conclusive. Traditionally, I found that even the Rig Veda (which apparently sings ballads to ‘Soma’ – an intoxicating drink that may/may not have been cannabis-based – and the Ayur Veda (which does still use Cannabis preparations in a lot of its ancient remedies) do praise the plant.

Well then, should I let a bunch of people who appreciate the fact that this plant gets them high… and claim it to be a better “drug” than most, shake me off from trying to understand why this plant might just be a beneficial medicine in the current human condition?

What do you think?

Please do leave a comment if you think you have an Intelligent opinion on the matter.

I’ll write again soon, I do have a lot more I’d like to talk about besides just drugs and homosexuality   🙂

…Music being one; here’s a link to a song (amongst many others) that inspired this mood: Tamacun